What’s Really Going On In Boystown

There has been a great deal of anger, controversy, and discussion regarding recent events in Boystown. Waves of racism have flooded Facebook’s “Take Back Boystown,” often under the pretense of concern about safety, labeling youth of color as a danger to Boystown. Avi Rudnick, project attorney at the Transformative Justice Law Project of Illinois (TJLP), has writtten an excellent and insightful article for Windy City Times that views these debates in a new light. He writes, “Instead of focusing on making only Boystown safe for residents, the focus should be on creating communities free from violence.”

The Weirdness of Having a Public Blog

It’s a kind of weird having such a public blog. Partly because the quality of writing (especially since starting The Daily Post’s Post A Day challenge) is not always up to my personal standards — it’s a little embarrassing for so many people to see posts that I’ve just thrown together after almost running out of time. Mostly, though, it’s odd because a lot of what I write about is rather personal. Oh, I suppose my blog isn’t truly public in the sense that it doesn’t show up in a Google search of my name (yet — I check on a regular basis), but it’s visible to everyone, and I link to it on Facebook, so most of the people in my life could easily read it.

Just $1 to Support CeCe

I know that ten or twenty or fifty dollars may be more money than you can afford to donate to support Chrishaun (CeCe) McDonald. But what about one dollar? A single dollar — enough to buy a candy bar, or a small bag of chips, or a quarter of a gallon of gas. If we all gave just one dollar to support CeCe and spread the word, getting even more people to give a dollar and spread the word — there’s power in numbers. Just because we can’t afford to give large amounts of money doesn’t mean we can’t raise it. 

Two Weeks On T!

For the first month I’m on T, I’m supposed to get my shot every two weeks, and this past fortnight since my first shot has gone by so slowly. Of course, by the weekend after my first shot of T, I was already getting impatient for my next one. I was so tempted to get my second shot last week — I am really not good with this patience thing — but I managed to restrain myself. I got my script from a doctor, after all; I might as well listen to her directions (especially since I’m sure there’s a good reason for it).

If I Knew In High School What I Know Now

If you had a chance to go back to high school knowing what you know now, would you change anything or do it all the same?

There’s a large part of me that would be scared to change anything because it could have such drastic  consequences on who I am now — if I  had done things differently then, I wouldn’t be who and where I am now. At the same time, it would be impossible to do it all the same. I identified as a girl, and I was mostly in denial about not being straight, when I was in high school. That’s not the case anymore, and I don’t think I could go back into the closet.

From Exploring Trans to Beyond Bryn Mawr: Blogging Changes Within the Past Year

A little over a year ago, I started a blog dealing specifically with my personal trans journey that I titled “Exploring Trans.” I wasn’t yet publicly out as trans, so I kept it mostly private and unconnected to the rest of my life. It allowed me to express my frustrations and confusion without needing to burden or educate any specific person. The anonymity of it allowed me to be more honest, more uncensored, than I would generally be — I was basically writing to strangers, not to people who know me, people with whom I interact. However, since coming out and finding trans / genderqueer / gender-knowledgeable community of my own, I’ve essentially abandoned my old trans blog in favor of posting here. Now, my old blog posts function more as a way to remind me where I’ve been, mentally, over the past year of my gender journey.

Shows and Court Dates: Losing Faith In People and Learning to Believe Again

Months ago, I wrote a post I titled “Broken Promises and Castles Built On Air,” although I put off posting it until recently. I focused on my desire to not be the person constantly making fantastic plans without following through, but how I approached others’ promises stayed the same. That might change now.

I posted earlier about my worries regarding my name change court date, particularly my worry that my friend wouldn’t show up to support me. It was irrational and absolutely not reflective of my friend, but I’ve somehow trained myself to not truly believe it when someone gets really excited about something I’m doing and promises they’ll  be there (other than my parents, but they’re different). If I don’t expect them to be there, maybe it won’t hurt quite as much when they don’t show up.

I Don’t Believe That Everything Happens For A Reason

Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Why or why not?

I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason. There seems to be a danger to that line of thought, a danger similar to a danger of moral/cultural relativism — the hesitance to create change, the assumption that things are as they should be and so should not be judged or criticized. After all, why do anything to combat injustice if that injustice is happening for a reason?

What Chicago Has Done For Me

When I was in A.P. Biology, during my junior year in high school, we raised Monarch butterflies: we watched them grow from little dots on a leaf into beautiful butterflies. Actually watching them emerge from their chrysalises as fully formed butterflies was amazing. In some ways, I feel like Chicago has helped me with my own butterfly-like transformation.

Preparing To Leave Chicago

Even as I begin to plan out my life in Minneapolis, the idea of actually leaving everyone in Chicago about whom I care so much — and everything continuing on without me — tears at my heart. My emotions are all over the place; I’m constantly on the verge of tears. I started to cry twice on Friday alone while I was out and about. At the same time, it almost doesn’t seem real. This was my last weekend in Chicago; this will be my last week in Chicago, and I just don’t believe it. The idea of simply no longer seeing people I currently see on a regular weekly basis (or even more frequently) is a concept I can’t quite wrap my mind around. Yes, this move need not be forever. Yes, I can still visit. But it’s not the same, and I’ve never been very good at saying goodbye.