Tag Archives: queer

Dance Parties and Queer Peer Pressure

I have a confession to make: I don’t dance. I don’t know how — that whole “just move your body, feel the music” thing always infuriated me because I just don’t get it — and I don’t like it. I feel so self-conscious. Dance parties literally terrify me. The worst part is that the dance parties are often such a central part of the queer party scene — in a more organized sense (Chicago has Chances Dances weekly, Queerer Park and FKA monthly, and Berlin all the time, just to name a few) and in the “and then it devolves into a dance party” sense. And that’s not who I am. Continue reading

Yay for Glitterbombing Dan Savage?

Dan Savage got glitterbombed for being transphobic: it’s all over (my) Facebook. For the most part, I think that’s great. He’s said a lot of transphobic things, and to my knowledge, he’s never truly apologized or shown that he realizes why they was problematic and hurtful. I know: I called him on it when he spoke at Bryn Mawr my senior year, and he basically side-stepped the question.
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National Coming Out Day Once Again

Well, it’s National Coming Out Day again (or so Facebook tells me), and a lot has happened in the past year. Most particularly, I’m now out as trans — I wasn’t quite ready to do that yet last year. In terms of coming out/transitioning, it’s been a big year. One of the best things is that I now actually have language for myself and words that feel comfortable to me.  Continue reading

Social Anxiety and Being Genderfunny

Whether you’re meeting a group of people for the first time, spending time with relatives, or hanging out with friends you’ve known for years, being a genderfunny person can create some social obstacles. In what kinds of spaces do you deal with social anxiety?

Genderqueer Chicago always has fantastic topics. I’m always impressed by how creative and yet relevant they are — especially since I’ve facilitated discussion groups before, and I know how it difficult it can be to think of a decent topic of conversation. Being “genderfunny,” as GqC calls it, can make things difficult, particularly when I’m not in the company of other genderfunny people. Continue reading

“Us” versus “Them”

This whole “us versus them” mentality really gets us nowhere.

I understand the desire — the need — to have community and to not always be the “other,” the “them.” (RENT, anyone? “To being an ‘us’ for once / instead of a ‘them!'”) As someone who has been part of a “them” for as long as I can remember, I get that.

At the same time, I think we often tend to go too far with the “us versus them” mentality. Continue reading

I Feel Like I’m Losing Myself

EXPLORING TRANS — SATURDAY, JULY 10, 2010, 8:11 PM

I feel like I’m being pulled in so many different directions. I don’t know how — I’ve never know how — to deal with multiple identities in a way that didn’t cause one of them to be neglected and ignored. I’m a Korean adoptee, but I’m also queer and trans, and I haven’t yet been able to figure out a way to unite those identities, instead of simply pushing one to the foreground and the other to the back. Continue reading

Searching for Connection, or Looking for Heartbreak?

EXPLORING TRANS — FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2010, 1:21 AM

I’m probably never going to meet any of the people who were in my life before I met my parents, before I came to the U.S. It’s something I’m working to accept. Oh, I might be able to track them down — unlike some of my friends, I was one of the lucky ones. I have the names and cities of my birth parents, and the agency through which I was adopted still exists. And part of me really wants to find them, part of me really wants to meet people who are actually biologically related to me. Part of me wants to know whether I look like them, whether I inherited any of their traits or skills. Part of me wants to know — know for sure, know for certain — whether they loved me. Did they give me up because they didn’t want me, or because they wanted a better life for me? Continue reading