Reclaiming Masculinity

In many ways, when I first came out as trans, I was very much alone. I was attending a women’s college — and while not everyone there identified as a woman, from the people I knew or knew of, the openly trans / genderqueer / gender-variant population of my college was roughly one-half of one percent of the college’s undergrad population. I was sort of making things up as I went along.

Glitter Guts and the Smallest Thing

What is the smallest thing near you? Write a paragraph about it.

As I sat at my computer, the smallest thing near me happens to be a little square card advertising GlitterGuts.com. I got it at Queerer Park‘s Homo-Coming last fall — at Beauty Bar, near my apartment.

Optimist or Pessimist?

Are you an optimist, a pessimist, or something else?

Maybe I’m just constitutionally incapable of answering with a simple answer (one that doesn’t, in one way or another, involve the phrase “that depends”), but I think I’m at same time both an optimist and a pessimist and neither one at all.

I feel as though I’m too much a realist to be an optimist and too much an idealist to be a pessimist.

Hot Wall: Catherine Zeta-Jones

Catherine Zeta-Jones

I know I should probably say that it all started when I saw her in The Mask of Zorro, but honestly? It didn’t. I saw and loved The Mask of Zorro, but I didn’t know who the actress was. It wasn’t until Chicago that I became fascinated with Catherine Zeta-Jones (she also won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for that role, as well as the equivalent BAFTA and SAG awards). There was just something about her voice, her stage presence, her look. And then, when I watched the extras on the DVD, I discovered that she actually started out doing musical theatre, and I decided she was amazing.

Doctor Who: The Eleventh Doctor

Karen Gillan and Matt Smith as Amy Pond and the Eleventh Doctor

When I finished Season Four of Doctor Who, I was mostly convinced that no one other than David Tennant — the Tenth Doctor — could ever really be the Doctor in my heart. I was devastated when he left, and frankly, I waited a while to start watching the Season Five because I just didn’t want to see anyone else be the Doctor.

This Is Just Wrong

While I was checking Facebook a few minutes ago, I just saw a link to this article and video — “Utah police shot and killed a man within seconds of storming his parents’ home.” I’m not going to summarize the article or what happened; go to the article for that. I honestly don’t know what to say.

On so many levels, there is so much wrong with this.

I Like Fruity Drinks

French Martini at Clarke's (aka My Fabulously Fruity Drink)

I like fruity drinks. No, seriously, I really, really do. Sure, I’ll drink a beer, or a glass of a decent wine, or a vodka tonic , or a Jack and coke, or something like that — and it’ll be good and fine and whatever. But if I can pick whatever I want, it’ll almost inevitably be something fruity. Fruit-flavored vodkas, fruit liqueurs, fruit juices, actual bits of fresh fruit — you name it, if it’s something fruity, I’ll probably want to order it.

And mostly, that’s fine. I know what I like; that’s a good thing, right? The only problem is that fruity drinks are almost inevitably read as “girly” drinks. And that is incredibly unfortunate (and unfair!).

The Curse of Living Forever

If you could live forever, would you? Why or why not?

This question immediately makes me think of Captain Jack Harkness from Doctor Who and Torchwood (played by the fabulous John Barrowman). I suppose my first question would be about what “live forever” means. Is it a Tolkienian elvish sort of thing (never dying of old age, always youthful, but capable of dying due to other causes)? Maybe like a Time Lord (regenerations being able to save them from many things that would kill a human but not everything)? Or is it like Captain Jack Harkness?

If “living forever” meant Jack’s kind of immortality — a true immortality — I would never choose it.

“Don’t Laugh At Me”

I first heard Mark Wills’ song “Don’t Laugh At Me” at camp, almost ten years ago. It’s a lovely song — the music itself tugs at my heartstrings a little, and the lyrics send a powerful message. It’s not perfect, and I’m a bit uncomfortable with the implication that it is because god views us as equals that bullying isn’t acceptable, but I do like that it seems honest and real.

“Don’t laugh at me / Don’t call me names / Don’t get your pleasure from my pain” — It doesn’t try to pretend that we should all live together as one big happy family; all the song asks for is for people to be acknowledged and be recognized as fellow humans, for people not to be torn down in order to make others feel better about themselves. Is that so much to ask?

Your Body May Not Make You a Woman, But the Duck Pond Run Makes You a Mawrtyr

“Your body makes you a woman, your mind makes you a scholar, but the duck pond run makes you a Mawrtyr.”

I think every Bryn Mawr student knows that saying; it’s especially prevalent around Hell Week. As much as I love the “the duck pond run makes you a Mawrtyr” sentiment (and I really, truly do), I’m not such a fan of the first part. Even before I identified as trans, I felt something a little off about the beginning.