I Like Fruity Drinks

French Martini at Clarke's (aka My Fabulously Fruity Drink)

I like fruity drinks. No, seriously, I really, really do. Sure, I’ll drink a beer, or a glass of a decent wine, or a vodka tonic , or a Jack and coke, or something like that — and it’ll be good and fine and whatever. But if I can pick whatever I want, it’ll almost inevitably be something fruity. Fruit-flavored vodkas, fruit liqueurs, fruit juices, actual bits of fresh fruit — you name it, if it’s something fruity, I’ll probably want to order it.

And mostly, that’s fine. I know what I like; that’s a good thing, right? The only problem is that fruity drinks are almost inevitably read as “girly” drinks. And that is incredibly unfortunate (and unfair!). I order a Cosmo, and people comment on what a girl I am, or how girly my drinks is. And so (because I’m really not a girl, and I’d really rather not be called one . . . unless it’s in a really specific, still trans affirming kind of way), I’ve largely stopped ordering fruity drinks.

It made me sad — why order a $5 vodka/tonic when I can make it at home for so much cheaper (or spend $7 for it to be Absolut and tonic? At that price, I’d be better off making martinis at home using Grey Goose, and it’d still be cheaper — in a big picture sort of way, of course). If I’m going to spend the money, I might as well get something I really want — and something I can’t make at home. Like the French Martini at Clarke’s — vodka, Chambord, and pineapple juice. I have neither pineapple juice, nor Chambord at home, and I know it’ll be sweet and delicious and perfect. Awesome.

So, I was out with some people tonight, and I decided to hell with it and ordered my fruity drink. And it arrived at the table looking especially pink. I was embarrassed, but the guys I was with were completely fabulous and affirming and not at all “You have a pink, fruity drink; you are such a girl.” I knew I liked them for a reason (I mean, a lot of reasons, but this is totally one of them).

And so, I’m working on getting over my fear of being called girly for ordering a fruity drink. Other people’s gender issues shouldn’t inhibit me from drinking what I want to drink.  Would it be nice to have a Jack Daniels and blend in a bit? Yes (except that I tried some at Cuba Libre during Senior Week, and it wasn’t exactly my favorite). But I’m learning to be okay with myself and who I am. I’m learning to not define ‘trans’ as ‘not girly’ (because, really, my trans identity should be whatever I want to make of it).

And the fact that I have amazing people in my life who will support me in even things as small as what I like to drink — people who accept me at my word and don’t hold me to some external standard of what it means to be trans — is beyond fantastic. Despite all of the things I could’ve done better about moving to Chicago, coming to Chicago has been one of the best experiences I’ve yet had.

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7 responses to “I Like Fruity Drinks

  1. I never really liked fruity drinks until recently (sort of). I have found I’m quite fond of those Mike’s Hard Lemonaide. The Cranberry ones….mmmm but found I can only drink a couple due to the surgary content. Even my husband will drink ’em…but they aren’t necessairly the less expensive thing on the market.

  2. Hey, good for you! Sometime we can go out and I can be all femme (as I sometimes am) and order bourbon on the rocks, and you can order a fruity drink, and everything will be awesome.

  3. Being yourself means being able to order whatever you want – whether it is food or drink. May be ordering “fruity drinks” will enable you to educate those you are with that labeling them “girly” is a myth and the next time they will just think “oh, yeah, Ryan likes that kind of a drink”. I love you and I loved fruity drinks. I will always love you but now I like to order the “essence of Cosmo” (meaning way more vodka and really no cranberry). It is all a journey and we need to enjoy each step. XXOO Mom

  4. it makes me super sad that you’ve stopped ordering fruity drinks, so hopefully this new realization will change that. I remember when you made mojitos from scratch on the floor of my dorm room May Day junior year. fun times…

    That being said, here’s some food for thought:

    You know me. You know I love fruity drinks as well. You also know that I can definitely hold my liquor and like my fruity drinks pretty strong. You also know that I until recently I thought I was allergic to beer, so I’ve never been a beer drinker. You ALSO know that Matt drinks beer all the time and hates fruity drinks. Here’s the fun fact: I always thought this was his weird attempt to appear “manly” because fruity drinks are just so yummy. who wouldn’t like them? Turns out he drinks beer because he can’t drink anything stronger. He took a sip of my sex on the beach once when we were out and decided it was way too strong for him.

    SO…I propose this to you: given the problematic assumption that “manly” stuff is tougher and “girly” stuff is weaker, the next time someone calls you girly for ordering a fruity drink, you just say, “well at least I’m manly enough to handle it!”

    Hope that helps?

  5. Pingback: Re: Please Don’t Call My Drink “Girly” | Beyond Bryn Mawr

  6. Pingback: Back In Chicago! (But Only Visiting) | Beyond Bryn Mawr

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