The Daily Post’s 145th topic, June 2, 2011
This prompt was perfectly timed. On the 2nd of June, I managed to work my way past my fear of needles in order to give myself my first shot of T. I had been worried that I just wouldn’t be able to make myself do it, but it worked!
I really don’t like needles. Part of it is just the pokey part. It’s weird how much I don’t like that jab-y sort of idea. The idea of, for example, making an incision with a scalpel seems far less nerve-wracking than piercing my skin with a needle. I don’t know what it is about it, but injections freak me out.
And yet I’m going to be injected with T pretty much every week for the rest of my life. Clearly, I need to get over this fear of needles and jabbing/pokey things. And so I went down to the shot clinic on the 2nd of June (just in case) and decided to do it myself. And I did. It took three mental tries, but I made it happen.
It felt so good to get over that. I mean, the actual needle part hurt a titch, and the knowledge that I was getting my first shot of T was awesome, but it felt like a real accomplishment to be able to inject myself. It’s good to know that I can, in fact, do it. It’s a little like my first solo, in a way: I’d had a secret fear for years that if I ever had a solo, I’d open my mouth to sing, and no sound would come out. But I managed to get over that fear, and I’m working on getting over my fear of injecting myself as well. If nothing else, I know that it’s possible to not freeze up when I try to give myself a shot.
For my second shot, yesterday, I had considered having the person at the shot clinic give me the shot. I gave myself my first shot and proved that I can, so maybe I’ll take the easier way now. But I decided that it needs to be more than a one-time thing if I’m actually going to overcome this fear of injections. So I did it myself, and I think I even managed to do it on my first try.
When and if I get to the point where I simply can’t do it anymore, I’ll have someone at the shot clinic do it for me, and there will be no shame in that. But for now, I’m going to try to do it myself for as long as I can. So far, I’m two for two, and I feel pretty good about that.