Despite my apprehension about my new job, I have begun to feel progressively better about being in Minnesota. Or rather, as I began and ended this week (Monday and now today), I was — and currently am — feeling positive.
For all that visiting Chicago has made me desperately miss it and wish I were still/already living there, my brief time back has also, perhaps counterintuitively, made me feel better about spending the next year in Minnesota. Let me be clear: I miss Chicago; I miss my friends; I wish more than I can articulate that I were living there now. And yet, the fear that I’m going to be forgotten if I stay away is slowly ebbing. That fear was really fueling the need to get back now — the feeling that not only do I not want to wait, I can’t wait, or else I’ll lose everything and everyone I miss so much. It’s a stupid, irrational fear, but it was strong. Continue reading