I know that for a lot of queer and trans folks, holidays are a time of immense stress (particularly if they involve time spent with families of origin). That isn’t the case for me, and it’s one of the things for which I’m giving thanks today. I spend every Thanksgiving with my parents, my older brother, and a whole bunch of other relatives and family friends. This year, there were seventeen of us: the four in my immediate family; my uncle; six family friends and the one of their nephews; my aunt, two of my cousins, one of my cousin’s friends, and that friend’s roommate. There was lots of good food; the younger generation watched Doctor Who and A Very Potter Musical: the day went well.
I’m lucky to have the family I have. No one has given me trouble about being queer and trans, and many of my relatives and old family friends have been specifically and intentionally supportive. I don’t dread holidays with my family; I look forward to them.
My family doesn’t criticize my hair style or the way I dress; they call me by Ryan (even my Korean pseudo-grandmother); they refer to me using my preferred pronouns (even my cousin’s friend does so). We simply gather together, enjoy delicious food, catch up a bit, and (in my and my cousins’ case) watch some Doctor Who. The most complicated it got was deciding which episode to watch (we finally settled on “The Beast Below” from Season 5). It’s been a very nice day.