Tag Archives: gender identity

Don’t Call Me Woman: The Ups and Downs of Privilege


Although I self-identify as trans, people very rarely read me as anything other than a woman. I suppose I can’t really blame them: I’m barely over five feet tall; I have child-sized hands; my shoe size is that of the average 8-12-year-old (according to Converse.com); and I’ve never had what anyone would call a boyish figure. I look distinctly female, no matter how much I’d like to pretend otherwise. Continue reading

Listening to the Right Voice


It sometimes seems as though there’s this societal insistence that gender can only be either personal or social. It’s either directly due to people as individuals, or it’s solely the result of socialization. Furthermore, I, at least, have felt a message that it needs to be individual, in order to be “real” or “authentic” or “legitimate.”

There’s this idea that how I feel about my gender, or how I present myself, isn’t real if it’s influenced by society. It’s only considered legitimate if I do something because it’s what I want for myself, not because I want others to view me in a certain way. And while I understand and respect the importance of staying true to oneself and not being too bothered by the rest of the world, it’s an undeniable fact that we’re influenced by society. Continue reading

Righter and Wronger: Figuring Out Who I Am

A few years ago, I was going through a bit of an identity crisis. Well, actually, it was rather more than a bit of one — growing up in a society as deeply entrenched in a gender binary system as the U.S. is can turn questioning one’s gender into a really complicated mess.

I kept trying to figure things out in my head — my mind hadn’t failed me before. I’m a philosophy major! Thinking is what I do! I kept thinking that if I just worked at it hard enough, I could theorize my way to an identity, decide — based purely on my mental skills — how I identified and how I wanted to live my life. It wasn’t going so well. Some things are not purely theoretical, and gender is one of them. Still, I kept at it, not willing to accept that there wasn’t some conclusion to reach if I could only find the right argument, the right chain of logic. Continue reading

I Like Fruity Drinks

French Martini at Clarke's (aka My Fabulously Fruity Drink)

I like fruity drinks. No, seriously, I really, really do. Sure, I’ll drink a beer, or a glass of a decent wine, or a vodka tonic , or a Jack and coke, or something like that — and it’ll be good and fine and whatever. But if I can pick whatever I want, it’ll almost inevitably be something fruity. Fruit-flavored vodkas, fruit liqueurs, fruit juices, actual bits of fresh fruit — you name it, if it’s something fruity, I’ll probably want to order it.

And mostly, that’s fine. I know what I like; that’s a good thing, right? The only problem is that fruity drinks are almost inevitably read as “girly” drinks. And that is incredibly unfortunate (and unfair!). Continue reading