Tag Archives: guilt

Don’t Call Me Woman: The Ups and Downs of Privilege


Although I self-identify as trans, people very rarely read me as anything other than a woman. I suppose I can’t really blame them: I’m barely over five feet tall; I have child-sized hands; my shoe size is that of the average 8-12-year-old (according to Converse.com); and I’ve never had what anyone would call a boyish figure. I look distinctly female, no matter how much I’d like to pretend otherwise. Continue reading

Another Year Passes: Letting Go of the Grief and Guilt

And so it comes around again, the 31st of January.

On January 31st, 2009, my friend died. His name was Eric.

It is said that time heals all. That seems, to me, a kind of horrible thing to say, in a way — that time dulls the pain, that time makes us forget — that the passing of time can ease the heartbreak. And yet it can, in a way. Perhaps it’s because we weren’t personally especially close: we were friends through theatre during high school — he was two years younger than I was, and though we did shows together for several years, we had different circles of close friends. Still, we were VISTA, and that meant that we were family, and I loved him. Continue reading

In Honor Of National Coming Out Day

I was recently reminded that there are many reasons to “come out” — that it doesn’t necessarily have to do with gender or sexuality. So, in honor of National Coming Out Day, I would like to come out about a variety of things.

I love the glossy feel of lipgloss and the smooth, lush look of a dark lipstick. I can’t handle wearing either (I think I started to hyperventilate the last time I tried), but part of me wishes I could. I love glitter, sparkles, and sequins. I love the look of a hot pair of stilettos. My inner femme may be buried way down deep inside, but ze’s there (ze’s just a little different from most). Continue reading