When my senior year ended, I thought I’d never again have a chance to sing on my high school stage. Theatre was the center of my life in high school, and leaving was one of the hardest adjustments I’ve made. And then I was given a chance to sing on that stage again, with other fellow theatre alums — my theatre family — and it was magic, just like it always was. Continue reading
Posted in Life
Tagged community, concert, family, friends, happiness, high school, joy, life, magic, music, postaday2011, singing, Songs for a New World, stage, theatre
Tomorrow, my best friend from high school and her fiancé are putting on a benefit concert. It’s going to be on our beloved high school stage, and — since she’s calling on alums and current students as chorus for one of the songs — I’m going to be up on stage once again. It makes me smile that it will be that stage, since it will be the last time I sing in public (chorus, karaoke, or otherwise) before I go on T. Continue reading
Posted in Life, Trans/Queer
Tagged beginnings, high school, hormones, music, postaday2011, singing, Songs for a New World, stage, T, trans, transition
First and foremost, I want to recognize my mother this Mother’s Day. As I’ve said before, my mom is the best. She’s supportive and loving and pretty much all-around amazing, but I’ve already covered that. Mother’s Day — it makes me think of my mom, of course, but then I also think of other people. Sometimes it’s people who are in my life currently; sometimes it’s people who were in my life in the past. Continue reading
If you had a chance to go back to high school knowing what you know now, would you change anything or do it all the same?
There’s a large part of me that would be scared to change anything because it could have such drastic consequences on who I am now — if I had done things differently then, I wouldn’t be who and where I am now. At the same time, it would be impossible to do it all the same. I identified as a girl, and I was mostly in denial about not being straight, when I was in high school. That’s not the case anymore, and I don’t think I could go back into the closet. Continue reading
I’m aware that I’ve already posted about the two biggest parts of the name change process (filing the paperwork and the court date). It seems, however, that the name change process just keep continuing on and on and on. Who knew that there were so very many things to change?
Today, I changed my name on my bank accounts! I had originally thought that I needed to have my state ID in order to change my name on my bank accounts, and since Minnesota actually mails the updated licenses back to people (making it take eleven days and counting*, instead of the two minutes it takes in Chicago), I’d been putting off changing my name at the bank. I discovered today, however, that all it takes is the judgement order (that beautiful form, an official copy of which I carry everywhere with me). So, the names on my accounts are now all my fabulous new legal name, and I’m just waiting to receive my revised debit and credit cards. And, I will shortly have brand new checks — and I know exactly to whom I’m writing my very first check as Ryan (hint: I’ve been trying to get people to donate to them for ages). Continue reading
Posted in Life, Trans/Queer
Tagged Bryn Mawr, college, frustration, high school, Minnesota, name change, names, postaday2011, trans, transition
Months ago, I wrote a post I titled “Broken Promises and Castles Built On Air,” although I put off posting it until recently. I focused on my desire to not be the person constantly making fantastic plans without following through, but how I approached others’ promises stayed the same. That might change now.
I posted earlier about my worries regarding my name change court date, particularly my worry that my friend wouldn’t show up to support me. It was irrational and absolutely not reflective of my friend, but I’ve somehow trained myself to not truly believe it when someone gets really excited about something I’m doing and promises they’ll be there (other than my parents, but they’re different). If I don’t expect them to be there, maybe it won’t hurt quite as much when they don’t show up. Continue reading
Posted in Chicago, Life, Rambles
Tagged belief, change, disappointment, faith, friends, high school, memories, name change, postaday2011, promises
It frustrates me when the color of my skin makes people think that I don’t speak English. I was on a plane a few months ago, sitting behind the people in the exit row. The flight attendant asked the person whether they understood the requirements of sitting in the exit row; when the person (presumably) nodded, they were told, “You need to respond verbally.”
It brought back a memory of a flight I’d been on previously. I was sitting in exit row, and the flight attendant asked whether I understood the instructions. I nodded — I don’t remember how many times I’ve flown seated in the exit row, but it was enough to be nothing new. Instead of telling me that I need to respond verbally, the flight attendant then asked me whether I understood English. Continue reading
List three countries you’d like to visit, and why you want to go.
First and foremost, I’d like to go back to Korea (ROK/South Korea, of course). I’ve been three times, but I haven’t been back since 2006. I’m actually planning a trip back with my cousin. I am so excited. The food, the shopping, the busy press of people in the streets — everything is exhilarating. And that’s without taking into account that it’s where I’m from. Going back to Korea brings me back to my roots in the most basic sense. The US is my country and my home, without question, but Korea is still somehow essential to who I am. Continue reading
It was the fall of 2004, and I was sitting in the theatre at my high school — my theatre, my second home. For the first time in a very long time, I was sitting in the house — in the audience. It was the teaser for Nickel and Dimed, and we were doing something a little different, which meant that most of the cast wasn’t performing. Darkness was all around, and then a light shone on my friend, sitting high up on the scaffolding with a guitar. My friend began to sing David Gray’s “Silver Lining,” and it felt like magic. There was something so perfect about the moment that it gave me shivers. It just hit me that that was what the audience saw, heard, and felt. And it just meant all the more to me because it wasn’t merely a show I might watch: it was my show and my friends. Continue reading
Posted in Rambles
Tagged anticipation, high school, joy, magic, memories, music, play, postaday2011, shows, singing, song, theatre