Months ago, I wrote a post I titled “Broken Promises and Castles Built On Air,” although I put off posting it until recently. I focused on my desire to not be the person constantly making fantastic plans without following through, but how I approached others’ promises stayed the same. That might change now.
I posted earlier about my worries regarding my name change court date, particularly my worry that my friend wouldn’t show up to support me. It was irrational and absolutely not reflective of my friend, but I’ve somehow trained myself to not truly believe it when someone gets really excited about something I’m doing and promises they’ll be there (other than my parents, but they’re different). If I don’t expect them to be there, maybe it won’t hurt quite as much when they don’t show up. Continue reading
Posted in Chicago, Life, Rambles
Tagged belief, change, disappointment, faith, friends, high school, memories, name change, postaday2011, promises
When I was little, there was someone I idolized. She was brilliant, and I loved her. She was always full of grandiose ideas. She always made plans — we’ll make Christmas cookies, complete with edible silver dragees; we’ll go for sushi at the place where her friend works; we’ll go see you in your high school play. Some of the ideas I knew would never come true — that wasn’t even really the point of them — tours around California, for example — these wonderful, brilliant plans that I knew weren’t real, but I couldn’t help but get swept up in her enthusiasm, imagining just for a moment how incredible it would be if they were true. Some of them . . . some of them I really thought were meant as promises, not just building castles in the air — those were the ones that really hurt when nothing ever happened. Continue reading