Tag Archives: queers

What If Being Gay Is A Choice?

What if being gay is a choice? Of course, to even consider debating that, we’d need to decide what it meant to “be gay.” Having “homosexual desires,” acting on them, being out, identifying as gay? What about queers? To a certain extent, depending on the definition “being gay” could be a choice (and being queer even more so). If being gay means being out and not acting in a heteronormative way, then yes, being gay is a choice. However, being alive is a choice (continuing to eat, only crossing streets when cars aren’t coming at you, not outright killing oneself — all choices to stay alive). Continue reading

Not “Normal”

This was posted in its original form at 1:03 AM, December 15, 2009.

I’ve heard/read a lot of gay people argue about being “normal” — about being “just like everyone else” (read: just like straight people). A person called Vince wrote on the Queers United forum, “I dont know what the freaking problem is. Thanks God more people see us as normal. If you only consider youself to be gay not to be mainstream… poor you.” This statement seems like a pretty good representation of that sort of sentiment.

To me, this sort of thinking — “Thank God more people see us as normal” — is exactly the sort of thinking that excludes those queers who are most marginalized. That’s the sort of thinking that wants drag queens, leather dykes, and other less-than-mainstream people to not “embarrass” them at Pride (apparently, the thinking of Will & Grace creator Max Mutchnick, among many others). That’s the sort of thinking of those who would disown queers simply for being themselves because who they are isn’t mainstream enough, safe enough, bland enough to blend in. “Those sorts of people” scare the straight people. It’s the idea that being queer is fine, as long as you look and act “straight.” And while we’re at it, let’s remember that often, the idea of what seems “straight” and what seems “gay” is deeply intertwined with gender norms. People who abide by typical gender norms — people who appear to be “gender-normal” — usually are assumed to be straight. People who somehow transgress gender norms are typically assumed to be gay. Homophobia often masks transphobia. Continue reading