Tag Archives: The New Gender

Maybe I Am A Friendly Queer

I just read the ever-fabulous Kate Sosin‘s piece “Myth of Virtue: The Unfriendly Queer” on his blog The New Gender, and it was a revelation. Go check it out, and then come back and finish this (or this isn’t going to make much sense).

It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to be “queer enough” and “radical enough.” As Kate puts it, “Over the past few years, I’ve come to find that the word ‘queer’ increasingly carries with it a set of rules, especially if it is teemed with the word ‘radical.'” There is so much pressure to be a certain kind of queer. I’m not even entirely positive where that pressure comes from, just that I know I feel it. And quite frankly, it gets exhausting. Continue reading


The Importance of Preferred Pronouns

Think about how many times a day you use pronouns. How many times you say something like, “When will he be here?” or “Do you know her?” or “Give the plate to him” or “He’s late” or “Her coat is over here.” Now, imagine that every single pronoun is a pinprick of hurt, a reminder that — on a very basic level — who you are doesn’t correspond with who people think you are. Continue reading